Pastor's Bloopers - An embarrassing, funny blunder
Peace Lutheran Church, Galion, Ohio
These are bits and pieces from a variety of church bulletins.  
No one wants to be responsible for them, including the Pastor
at Peace Lutheran Church.  No offense intended!

The Points of Contacts for the Youth Ministry Center
are responsible for having a short prayer, medication,
and a plan.

Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid
when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had
bought. "How could you do this?!"
"I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I
found myself trying it on," she explained. "It was like Satan was
whispering in my ear, 'You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'"
"Well," the pastor replied, "You know how I deal with that kind of
temptation. I say, 'Get behind me, Satan!'" "I did," replied his wife,
"but then he said, 'It looks fabulous from back here, too!'"


Potluck supper:  prayer and medication to follow.

Being a new pastor to an aging congregation, I told them I would be
serving them prune juice in Holy Communion. When asked why I would
dare entertain such a thought, I said,"If the Holy Spirit won't move
you--the prune juice will!"


Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.  The
pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."


During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Two ministers met in the after life. One said, "Isn't heaven wonderful
after the parish ministry?" The other said, "This isn't heaven!"


The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of
Mrs. Marshal Crutchfield last evening, Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs.
Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.  Special thanks
are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at
the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at
his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why and he
confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a
sign that read, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."